I learned of my Dad’s intention to remarry in January. When he told me I laughed aloud. Turns out he was not joking. He was deadly serious. I had entitlement to be surprised. Following my parent’s tumultuous separation and relatively amicable divorce, my father swore blindly he would never remarry. Roll forward a few years and it seems he eats his words. Yes, it’s perfectly acceptable for him to seek companionship in his old age, but for some reason the idea of second marriage does not sit well with me.
I have reflected on why I am not down with his second marriage. I am none the wiser. Perhaps, it has something to do with having a step-mother. Cinderella was the only person I knew with a step-mother. She was a nasty piece of work. Is it any wonder my idea of step-mother has negative connotations? Add to the mix a step-brother, who I have only met once, and I pretty much have an alternative family at my disposal. It’s hard to digest. Surprisingly, the fact I am in my late-twenties makes it no easier.
I have met his fiancé a few times over the last few years. She mostly seems nice. She’ll never be my confidant. Nor would she want to be. Time that we spend together is awkward to say the least. We’re like polite strangers. She always declines a drink. I ask her how she is. She informs me she is fine. I ask her of her son. She tells me he is fine. I continue to make teeth-pulling conversation, meanwhile praying for the return of my talkative father. I will never call this lady “Mum”.
My awkwardness with his re-marriage could be down to a subconscious view of second marriage as tacky. I coped with my parent’s separation and divorce. It was fine. I dealt with it. I even regarded it as cosmo for the time. Mum enjoyed calling herself the “Divorcée of Roscommon”. However, the thoughts of Dad’s marriage unnerves me. I don’t know why. Is it the idea of a second marriage or more specifically the second marriage of my dad? My thoughts need time to settle.
The Big Day is about two weeks away. I have committed to a Stag Party. The organiser is my dad’s friend who was Best-Man for his first wedding. It is said repetition is the key to success. Will he use the same speech?
I have decided to deal with the upcoming day by treating myself to an overpriced suit and shoes. I shall look amazing while I cling to my brother and his girlfriend for solace.