Last night, I scurried into town to visit Ted Baker’s store. Best friend dropped me an email to notify me of a 20% discount. I called the store to verify. The sales assistant told me it wasn’t 20%, but 32%. On hearing this, I came over all queer. I may have had a slight orgasm. I quickly planned my evening. I would go for a jog and then speed into town.
In the local park I ran for about fifty minutes. I rushed back to the office to shower and change. The buses near my place of work are dodgy; three come at once and then there is nothing for a solid twenty minutes. I decided I would walk into town. I ignored the hunger pangs for there was greater fashion good at hand.
The Ted Baker store was its usual fabulous self. A caterer offered beer, profiteroles, macaroons and custard tarts. I shoved her out of the way to get to the jackets I had been eyeing up online. While trying on the coats, I felt faint and dizzy. I realised my sugar level had crashed. I beckoned the caterer and scoffed two or three of her offerings.
These are the jackets I bought. Aren’t they lovely? The fact I got 32% off makes them lovelier.