I am what Des Bishop calls a “Nokia Retard”. Nokia make phones with good functionality, i.e. phones that are easy to use. When it’s time to look for a new phone, I will generally peruse what is on offer from Nokia before any othere brand. I wasn’t always a Nokia Retard. I’ve had many brands of mobile phone. Some much better than others.
Cue flash back sequence mode …..
My favourite mobile of all time was the Siemens C25. It was a cool, little phone I owned at the age of sixteen. I was the first in my school to have a mobile phone. It was dinky and had dance music as a ring tone. I loved everything from the text on the screen to the clicky noise its buttons made. This phone made me feel cool.
My next mobile caused the disappearance of visible aerials on mobile phones. If you had one of these, you’ll remember how popular it was to change the cover of the phone. My quasi-girlfriend and I thought we were fantastic as branding our 3310s about Athlone town. Her phone cover was some sort of Crunchie Bar theme and mine was Budweiser, if I recall correctly.
In college I had the Nokia 3200. It was kind of crap. The torch was a querky touch. It was useful for navigating the country roads in Roscommon on dark, drunken nights, when I was home. I had a new found respect for this mobile, when it fell out of my pocked on Bachelor’s walk, landed in a puddle and was run over by a car. After all this maltreatment, it miraculously worked.
Following college, I entered my poor phase when I couldn’t afford to buy a new phone. Best Friend secured the NEC Iphone for free and donated it to me. I still hold it against him. That phone was pretty, but impossible to use. It eventually fell down the side of a seat on a DART where it stayed and rang out for three days after. I suppose it had a good battery. It was so shit no one took it.
My latest phone is a fancy phone. It’s a little clunky for my liking, but has lots of fancy features. The handsome retail assistant asked me if I wanted insurance. I declined. After reading through this account of some of my phones, and recalling how others were left on buses, fell out of my bag or were stolen, perhaps some insurance for my new purchase is a good idea.